


The Words You Never Said

by Fandomoverload5



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: CHAPTER 12 MAKES ME WANT TO E N D M Y L I F E, M/M, They're in the same year fight me, but its gonna be, its not sad yet, this is a collection of letter Kageyama wrote to Oikawa after they graduate, this is so sad
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-12
Updated: 2018-04-23
Packaged: 2018-05-19 21:23:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 17
Words: 5,087
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5981392
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fandomoverload5/pseuds/Fandomoverload5
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kageyama Tobio was found dead in his house exactly one year after his middle school graduation. the reports said he died from blood loss due to open wounds on his arms. </p>
<p>Oikawa Tooru is heartbroken to see Kageyama dead. He comes to Kageyamas place and he stumbled upon a box of letters. </p>
<p>The only thing written on this box was the phrase "the words I never said"</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Don't be intimidated by the chapters they're each not too long it's almost like a diary that he wanted Oikawa to read so each chapter is pretty short 
> 
> I'm writing 26 letters in total so whatever number I'm up to currently I will continue 
> 
> I'm writing this with not as good grammar or Vocab as usual because as we know Kageyama isn't the smartest of players and Im lazy

Hey Oikawa it's me, Kageyama. 

I hope you remember me considering we were on the same team for a year, you took me under your wing and all. You were an extraordinary athlete im glad I could learn from you. 

I was accepted into Karasuno as you know, it's amazing here. 

There's so many cool shops by town and a group of really nice players actually hang out with me, this time not out of pity. 

I hope everything is good for you, honestly you deserve the best. I wish we could've gone to the same school I loved playing with you. 

I guess we'll have to play each other in matches and stuff right? I don't want to be your rival. You are in the Miyagi prefecture after all. 

You got into Aoba Johsai right? That's an excellent school I heard another kid from our year who was up to your level got in there, Iwaizumi Hajime right? You have to tell me about him sometime I would love to set for an ace of his caliber. 

I hope you've been enjoying your new school, it's going to be lonely without you but I can handle it. 

-Kageyama Tobio


	2. Chapter 2

Hey Oikawa it's been two weeks and so much has happened. 

Classes started up and wow this is going to be a lot harder than that year. I used to be able to cost by I don't know what to do now. 

How are you doing? I'm still confused by most of this stuff you probably get it like its nothing. You always were the smart one. 

Anyway I was wondering how volleyball was going? 

On our team I'm stuck babysitting this crazy orange haired guy named Hinata Shoyou. They're making us play against the other first years for starting positions so I have to whip his ass into shape. 

Knowing you, you're probably making a dirty joke. First of all no, second of all stop it. 

Like I was saying he's horrible at receiving but he's got incredible spring. The kid's only 165 centimeters but he can clear the net no problem. 

He's always smiling and making things bright, he reminds me a lot of you. He's always super dramatic when he can't revive something. 

I really hope we can see each other again sometime soon, I'd love you to meet him. 

On a different subject, high school is much different. The students here are much ruder to the first years. 

I don't interact with my senpais much but at the same time they hassle us in the halls while cleaning up or by the vending machines during lunch. They can be quite scary. If only you were here, they would never lay another finger on me. 

The upperclassmen in the volleyball club are much nicer. The majority of them offer help and assistance, they even break the rules so we can practice more. There's this one guy who has a shaved head who is terrifying though, he's one of our starting wing spikers. 

So far we don't have a libero or a strong ace but I feel like those spots will be filled soon enough I don't know why. 

How's your spiker doing? I researched him a bit last night, did you know he is one of the top aces of his year? He's incredible! His middle school won so many tournaments because of him. I'm so jealous I wish our school had a recognized player. I heard we used to have Nishinoya Yuu the libero but something happened and he was banned from club activities. 

He's a super sensitive subject so I can't ask questions. I hate when things like that are not allowed to be talked about, don't you?

It's aggravating to not know the full story but then again it's none of my business. If you were here you would already know exactly what happened somehow. 

Anyway I'll see you soon 

-Kageyama Tobio


	3. Chapter 3

Yo Oikawa how you been?

It's been crazy around here, we had the practice game against the other first years today and oh my god. 

We have found the best weapon of all time. 

I shouldn't tell you this but I don't care. Hinata Shoyou, the one I was telling you about, he's incredible! Oh you should have seen him!

I'm basically the brains behind our quick but that doesn't matter. We've developed a quick unable to be blocked by any blocker I've ever seen. 

We won the practice match and now, Hinata and I can be regulars! We basically come as a set but that's alright, at least we get to play. 

Thank you Oikawa for making me want to play, it's paid off in this moment. 

Did I ever tell you that? You're the reason I started playing. 

It was at the end of our second year, you were serving in the second gym. It was eye opening to me how amazing your jump serve was, I was jealous. Over the summer I read up on volleyball and practiced in my yard for months and months and when the third year started I had to play. 

When I found out you were a setter I knew that's what I had to do. Your form was so elegant from the movement of your hands to the scrunch of your nose. 

It was incredible how you could toss to anyone with their full trust, even if you just met. 

I wonder if you ever had one of those moments? When you see someone and know they're going to change your life. That's how I felt. 

I hope your first month of school has been everything it's cracked up to be. 

-Kageyama Tobio


	4. Chapter 4

Hi Oikawa it's Tobio again 

Tomorrow we have a game against you guys! We've been practicing the crazy spike a lot so we'll win!

I've also been working on my jump serve a lot too I'm so excited to show you!

I heard that you got injured a little while ago and I got super worried. You should've called me or something don't leave me to panic trashkawa. 

I worry about you, you know? You're so bad at taking care of yourself I'm not there to keep you from hurting yourself accidentally. You better make sure to stay safe I'm not there to yell at you and call the ambulance. 

You always worked so hard it pushed me to play more and practice more, probably is the reason I'm at the level I am today. 

I can't freaking wait to see your stupid face tomorrow. You better have your hair styled nicely like old times, it always looked so nice. You really do have a nice face. 

Don't think I'm complimenting you, I'm just saying your genetics left you more fortunate than people like me. 

Speaking of beauty, we've got a stunning manager. She's quiet but super pretty and supportive of the team, I'm glad we have her. Although Tanaka-san and Nishinoya-san worship her as well as protect her, she still yells at them. I don't blame her honestly they're annoying as hell. 

Well when we play you can meet her, and I can introduce you to everyone else as well! I'm so excited, unless you've gotten taller then I'm not coming. 

See you tomorrow, shortie.

-Kageyama Tobio 

P.S. Don't call me "Tobio-chan" anymore, I want to seem serious for the rest of the team. They count on me and I can't have them think I goof off like that sorry. It was a super cute nickname though. (I won't call you shortie so we're even.)


	5. Chapter 5

Hey Oikawa it's me, surprise. 

I'm so sad you weren't there last week I was missing you. Stop injuring your knee dumbass you worry me. 

Besides I was super excited to show you my new serve you would be so proud of me. It's not like I only need your approval no way. 

Well anyway we've been practicing the spike even more, he's getting pretty good at it, receiving too. You would've been surprised by him he's like a firecracker. 

We're still looking for a coach. I came to Karasuno because they had an amazing coach but sadly he collapsed last year from some heart problem. Our advisor says he has someone in mind but I don't know what we're going to do. He's a pretty nice guy but he's absolutely awful at coaching. 

I really hope I can see you sometime soon though, I've got so much to tell you in person it's crazy. I really don't talk much to my teammates so it's nice to talk to someone. 

At Karasuno nobody really talks to me in class and during breaks and stuff. Usually they just ignore me which honestly is better than them antagonizing me. 

Some do that, they pick on other kids. I got in between a fight recently. It was some second year was screaming at this third year because he did something I don't know the full story but they were really going at it and I had to do something. 

Needless to say I got punched in the face and was given a detention. Figures. 

Don't get into any fights okay? You're too fragile and I'm not there to bandage you up when you get hurt. Besides I wouldn't want your face to get uglier. 

Until we meet again,

-Kageyama Tobio


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So much for staying pretty close to actual plot #yolo

Hey Oikawa I have news to tell you

Today I got into the biggest fight of my life. 

I was walking over to the vending machine to get a drink and two guys attacked me. They ran over and started verbally harassing me saying things like "I'm gonna rip each hair off your faggy head" 

It was terrifying enough and then they threw me on the ground and took my money but that didn't stop them. They kicked me in he face and broke my nose it hurt so much. They called me horrible things too. I was so scared Oikawa. 

And they said if I told anyone Id be attacked again what do I do? I'm too scared to do anything but at the same time they could do it again and I won't tell. This is so scary. 

I wish you were here I've only ever felt safe in your arms. I was in a fight before but I've never been afraid they'd come back and hurt me again. They were so big and angry why do they hate me? What did I do? 

Maybe I'm just easy to hate. 

-Kageyama Tobio


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> My poor baby :(

Hello Oikawa 

It feels like forever since I last wrote you. Since the last letter not much happened. I managed to conceal the broken nose from my parents so I don't need some face thing, that would just make things worse. 

I haven't ran into any of the guys since then but I haven't slept either. 

I've been so scared I have to drag Hinata with me everywhere. I know he probably can't protect me and my antics are getting annoying but I'm scared of they see me alone they'll attack me. 

I wish you were here. I wouldn't be afraid of anyone then, you always brought me strength. 

I can almost imagine what you would've said to them. You'd probably have made some type of pun and got into a bigger fight. I know you wouldn't let me get hurt, no matter what. You would never let them lay a hand on me. 

I wish I could say the same for you but I just get so scared by confrontation. I try to look angry so nobody messes with me. 

A few people have said stuff about my nose in the hallway. It's pretty red and swollen a bit but it definitely got better. 

I need someone here right now I wish it was you.

-Kageyama Tobio


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oh my god I haven't updated anything other than giving the dog a bone in like five million years im sorry guys eek!
> 
> I realize my version of forever is like a week but I feel like it's been longer idk okay enjoy :)

Hey Tooru

Can I call you Tooru? I'm going to. 

I've been pretty good, scared but good. I still make Hinata come with me everywhere but it's better now. I can do little things on my own as long as I'm in a nice area. 

I don't know why I'm so freaked out about this. It's just a stupid mugging it happens all the time. I shouldn't be allowed to be this scared other people have been in much worse traumas. 

Other than that I'm doing okay in my classes. I don't understand a lot of the stuff and need the team to help me work some stuff out like math equations and stuff. 

My grammar is pretty bad too, I say stuff way too often. You're pretty good at Japanese right? From what I remember you were pretty good. 

Oh well it doesn't matter I just need help finding a tutor. Usually one of the second years named Ennoshita helps me and Hinata (he's bad too) but it's still hard. Enough about my life what about you?

We don't talk enough I never know what's going on in your life. It's nice to hear things about you, kind of calming to hear things about someone who isn't me. 

You always talk about things that aren't petty like food and stuff. Hinata does that all the time, he just blabs on and on about stupid pork buns or something. You always would tell stories about things you do or games you played. 

I loved when we would practice after everyone left and you would sing some stupid song in English. What was the one? Eye of the tiger?

That one always made me laugh, even more when I read the translation. You know you were a really great singer, you have a nice voice. 

Well I might as well leave you on a high note, Tooru. 

-Kageyama Tobio


	9. Chapter 9

Hey Tooru, how you been?

I've been so busy with schoolwork and volleyball I haven't gotten a chance to even write. 

I've been so stressed lately and I don't know why. It feels like everything is a huge deal.

Little things that didn't used to bother me have started being a huge deal. Things like the stares of classmates and the mumbling of insults. 

I'm used to getting weird stares but it used to be because you were with me and nobody ever walked anywhere with me before. 

I'm so used to being the loner kid nobody notices or cares for but then you came along and now I miss having someone close to me. I never knew anyone who would go out of their way to protect me or make me happy like you did. 

I wish I had your strength to make my own way in the world and to care a path for myself but I can't. Everything scares me now, I lie awake at night worrying about trivial things. 

All this panicking has made me more tired and hesitant in doing things. I analyze everything unlike I've ever done before. I'm not used to critiquing everything like a madman and it's taking its toll on my psyche. 

It's been hard to do things I love like volleyball or even just getting a drink during lunch. 

I wish you were here to save me. 

-Kageyama Tobio


	10. Chapter 10

Hey Tooru,

We go to the inter high prelims in one week I'm so nervous!!! 

I'm assuming we'll see you there, unless you got injured again. Even if you did get injured, you have to come so I can see you. 

Besides I've gotten much more worried lately and you always find a way to make me relax. Everything is so stressful nowadays. It's like I can feel the eyes of everyone in the area on me all at once even if they're looking the other way. 

I've basically stopped eating too. Not on purpose, don't worry, I've just been so worried I haven't had time to eat anything. Sorry to overload you with my problems I just haven't been able to talk to anyone, I only felt at home with you. 

Oh, I should also tell you we faced Nekoma the other day. Naturally, we lost. We're such a rag-tag team it's going to be hard to win any games against strong school like yours. Most of our starters are 1st years anyway, I'm not surprised we didn't do well.

We finally got a libero, and with him came the ace. The ace is this timid guy who's like, massive. He looks so rugged and has a ponytail but is really scared most of the time. The libero, though, is really loud and short. He has this spiky hair like Kindaichi sort of and with a bit of blond in the front. 

Our teacher finally got us a real coach as opposed to the captain. He's the grandson of the famous Coach Ukai and he's really angry a lot of the time but he's a good coach. He said he was going to leave after our Nekoma practice match but he's still coach so I don't think so.

I doubt myself a bit too much when it comes to playing. I don't think I can do what my team needs me to without loosing the game for them and after everything they worked for. Maybe I should just quit so I don't take up a spot that could be filled by a good player. The only reason I'm on the court is because of Hinatas incredible talent.

Maybe one day I'll be able to do something right.

-Kageyama Tobio

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is pretty crap I should be working on my media project but here I am helping you guys
> 
> my friend is having so many problems right now I feel so bad holy crap


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ahh so many years later I update!!!
> 
> I'm coming back and finishing a bunch of things I haven't worked on in ages!! I'll update soon sorry guys,,,

Hey Oikawa, it’s been centuries.

Saw you when you beat us. I noticed you weren’t on the court and I find that odd, considering you’re like the best player in the division.

I played and we lost. It was my set that Hinata spiked. It was my set that caused the slip of his hand. It was my set that bounced off your wall. It was my set that hit the ground. It was my fault. 

I couldn’t stop the tears. I don’t cry. I don’t, I swear. But when I saw the broken faces of the ones who spent years of practice to get us here, I lost it. I can’t believe I ruined everything for them.

They reassured me that it wasn’t me, but I can feel the blame radiating off them. It’s not fair to them that I stay on the team. I might as well quit, it’s only a matter of time until I’m cut, anyway. I’ll give Hinata my jersey and he can give his to the numbers after him. They’d be happy for the improvement in numbers. 

I want you to keep playing. I’m sure your team will see how incredible you are sooner or later. Just stick with it and be stronger than I ever could be. 

“Setting prodigy”? Yeah right. I’m not talented nor should I have the spot. They called me the king but I’m no dictator. The king is stepping down from the throne. 

The peasants revolted and all I want is to appease the masses. Whatever the next dynasty is, I’m sure they’ll be great.

Bye Tooru,

-Kageyama Tobio


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> let's play a fun game called "why don't I ever update?"
> 
> sorry it's been so long guys!!!! I'll try to update more frequently

Hey Tooru, 

I stayed home today, I got so scared. The story is long and you probably don’t care but I’m telling you anyway. 

I was walking home after a long volleyball practice when I was stopped on the street. It was dark out and I decided to walk home so I could save the bus money to buy a snack tomorrow. This guy pulled up next to me and started yelling stuff, I think in English. I couldn’t understand him.

He grabbed my bag and tossed it to the side and I thought he wanted my money or something but he just kept yelling. Why was he yelling? 

He threw my jacket off and I thought he was checking me for weapons so I held my hands up. I just didn’t want to get hurt. He lifted up my shirt to check for a wire and that’s when it got weird. He started to pull the shirt off.

I resisted but he pulled a gun on me.

This is too hard to write, I’m sorry. It’s just too soon. 

No, this is you. I’ll tell you, because you need to know. 

He continued to grab onto me and tug off every article of clothing. I screamed for help but I knew nobody would come, because he was screaming before and nobody came. I stopped because he whispered in my ear, “I like to hear you scream.” 

Even thinking about it makes me want to throw up. He violated me in ways I never wanted anyone to. I couldn’t get help. I couldn’t scream. I was alone.

He took my sense of safety in my own home and I can never go back. All I do is replay the moment over and over again. I just want him gone. 

Save me.

Until we meet again,  
Tobio

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I WAS GONNA DO MORE ON THIS BUT I KEPT ANNOYING @mychemicalcass BY SAYING "I CANT DO IT, I CANT DO IT" AND HAD A HIGHKEY MENTAL BREAKDOWN I JUST LOVE HIM SO MUCH HOW COULD I DO THIS TO MY S O N
> 
> UNTIL NEXT TIME GUYS


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Should I be sorry?

Hello Oikawa

It's been a day and a half since I last wrote you. 

I can't stop shaking, I can't eat, and I haven't been able to sleep. Sometimes I can't even take a breath, I just start hyperventilating. 

I'm so terrified. The more I think about it, the more I want to throw up. I haven't told anyone, they'd treat me differently. I'm already stared at by half the school, I don't need this too. 

I don't think I can cry anymore. 

I never knew what going into shock felt like. I always thought it was someone, a little scared, in a blanket, talking to the police. Now I know it's violent shaking, dry sobs, horrific replaying of the event, panic attacks, and shame. I can't see anyone without feeling like they know what happened. 

I want to die of shame. I want to die to shut up those thoughts. Maybe if I do, he'll stop haunting every moment of my life. I have nobody who understands me. I can't tell anyone. 

You're all I want right now. All I need right now. I love you. 

There, I said it. I'm in love with you. All I want is to be with you. To have you hold me, and tell me it'll be alright. I need you. 

But you don't care about me, even close to as much as I care about you. If you'd just open your eyes and see how loved you are. It hurts to be away from you. 

I've tried, I really have, to be on my own. 

I made it so far, never getting close to anyone so I wouldn't get hurt. I'm so stupid for falling in love. You're so stupid for making me love you. 

I can't feel any more emotions. If I have one more thought, I might explode. Save me, Tooru. Please. 

You're all I need but the last thing I want. 

-Tobio

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These chapters are getting more and more fricked up honestly
> 
> I didn't plan this story out well enough so if I have to go back and re-edit the first couple of chapters I'll tell you in the summary and which chapter(s) I changed okay nice
> 
> :)))


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm back!!! I'll be updating a bit more when school starts up again (sometime in September) but right now I'm super busy with work and stuff so I might not update again for a while but thank you so much for the support!! I hope you enjoy the story :) 
> 
> also quick note if there's any emotional or geographic (as in things they do differently in Japan as opposed to america, my home country) innacuracies I'm sorry, i'm a bit rusty when it comes to general knowledge of culture and school related info so just ignore it and focus on the storyline haha 
> 
> enjoy!

Hey Oikawa, 

I've never felt depression so I wouldn't know but I think I have it. That doesn't make much sense, I'll explain. 

Before all this, I had plans of what I wanted to do. Move out, maybe get married, have kids. Now all I can think about is making it trough the day. I can barely do that anymore. I've been zoning out in class so of course I failed a test we took. I missed the retake so now I get a zero all together. I haven't shown up to volleyball practice in weeks and any time I see them I always go the other way. 

You never realize how unimportant you are until you see your best friend in the world smiling bigger than you've ever seen with someone else. I mean Hinata. 

How much Id give to have that optimism. I try to keep my hopes small but I still want everything. It's selfish of me to want to be his smile to have him to myself. The light radiates off him and maybe he'll give some to me. 

Don't think long term, Tooru. One day we all will die. All the money in the world can't buy you a second more. Just do what you want now and deal with it later. It all doesn't matter. 

If you do what I do and focus on now, all worry goes away. All panic is gone like magic. It makes me wonder why people even plan things, life is unpredictable and unavoidable so why not just do whatever the hell makes you happy. 

Take my advise,  
Tobio

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> small kagehina undertones mwahahaha 
> 
> anyway this chapter not much happens but basically Kageyama is done with volleyball and is starting to isolate himself, a bit of a parallel to middle school ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) 
> 
> I'm crazy


	15. Chapter 15

Tooru,

Today I finally quit the volleyball team. After weeks of shit playing, weakness in my arms, and horrible sets, I gave it up. They tried to convince me to stay but it's probably just so they don't have to change jersey numbers. 

I haven't gone to class in seven days. I've been in the school building but I've just been hiding out in the bathroom. There's no point in learning this stuff anyway. I'd rather just do what I do, which is draw. I'm not very good honestly, it's just a fun thing to do, it calms my nerves. 

I don't draw much, it's mostly just things I see like a paper towel on the ground or the faucet, stuff like that. I don't really think about much stuff while doing this. I mostly just focus on like "that is too far in the foreground," and stuff like that. 

You know, I don't know why I still write these letters anymore. I haven't sent a single one of them. I don't think you'll ever read them. 

Maybe when I'm 70 I'll send these to you from whatever crappy, futuristic nursing home I'm in. 

Imagine that! Me! At age 70!! 

I don't want to be 70. I don't want to look back and only see regret. I don't want to look back. I want a do-over. I want a retry. 

I just don't want life to pass me by. If I keep wishing my life away, I'll wake up one morning and realize everything I wanted was over ten years ago. 

Maybe i'm just a dreamer but I still believe in things like fate. I'm not one of those people who are Romeo and juliet, killing themselves for the hell of it. It's more of a sense. As if like we all end up where we're supposed to. It's hard to explain but I feel like everyone has a long road, sometimes bumpy and sometimes terrifying, be we walk this road until we find the spot we were supposed to end up in. 

This isn't some sermon where i'm making you believe in God, hell if he exists, he's an asshole. I don't believe in God. I don't think there's some bearded white guy in the clouds judging people and killing the bees. 

Maybe he made things but after the humans he just put the earth in auto pilot and this is what happened. 

Is this too deep? I know I need to relax but I've been doing a lot of thinking lately. 

Maybe this is what was supposed to happen to me. I think about that too, that whole predestination thing. Maybe we're supposed to be at the mercy of the wind. These people say predestination is real but anyone at any time could just sin and go to hell. Maybe that's what they were supposed to do. 

I'm tired right now, so i'm going to sleep. Goodnight Oikawa. 

-Tobio

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This made no sense ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯


	16. Chapter 16

Hey Tooru

I want to get lost in a crowd. I want to walk down into the busiest city in the world and blend in. I want to be dragged along with the flow of people, all rushing to get to work or home to their families. 

If you look closely, you'll see that nobody really gives a shit. They're all locked on their cellphones, or looking for a route that would deliver them at their destination four seconds faster. It's incredible the lengths people will go to in order to ignore the things around them. 

Do you ever want that? To live in the city? We would live in a small apartment together, in a safe part of town. We'd make bad pancakes every Sunday and watch bad movies on our shit TV every Friday. You'd be working your dream job, I'd probably be working at a place close by for money for rent and stuff. 

Sometimes I think about that, what I would give to be 28, on my own, with more than ten bucks to my name. I don't want to be the worthless bum everyone assumes me to be. 

Even the team thinks of me like a quitter. This one kid, Ennoshita I think, keeps harassing me during lunch time. He corners me and tells me about the time he and other second years quit. 

There was some coach who was brutal or something, I'm a bit fuzzy on the details, and they couldn't take it. They didn't have the love for volleyball that we did. Of course, I found it so late that there was no way I'd ever be able to catch up to you. What's the point of playing and putting my all into this sport only to stop at the end of school. 

It seems pointless to waste my life on some hobby. I'm mad at you for making me addicted, but luckily i'm stronger than that. I have to be. 

Or else they'll come back...

and I'll drift into the crowd. 

\- Kageyama Tobio


	17. Chapter 17

Heyo tooru, what's crackin?

I haven't slept in days, but trust me. There's a weird noise from my window. I know, crazy right. 

I'm also super drunk. I went to my cousins this weekend and poured half a bottle of Smirnoff into old water bottles. I chugged one the other day over the course of like twenty minutes. Does that count as chugging? I guess not because I took a breath in between. 

Anywayyyyyy, nothing else is really going on. My grades are shit but it's okay, I wasn't exactly planning on going into an academic field. 

I don't really want to work. It's boring. Everything's boring if you're sober. I'll get a job washing dishes and we can live together in the city and buy stuff like food and I'll get a job washing dishes and you'll play professional volleyball and I'll make money for food. I love you. 

I don't wanna stop drinking. If I move my head fast my eyes get blurry. You should try it. 

Bye bitch!!!!! -Kags

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I KNOW I HAVENT UPDATED IN CENTURIES LET ME LIVE!!! ILL FINISH THIS I SWEAR TO THE LORD ABOVE ILL DO IT, JUST VERY SOWLY!! I FOUND THIS CHAPTER BURIED IN THE HUNDREDS OF NOTES I HAVE ON MY PHONE FROM TJE PAST TWO YEARS AND I HOPE I CAN CONTINUE THIS EVEN THOUGH I HAVENT WATCHED OR KEPT UP WITH HAIKYUU SINCE THE END OF SEASON 2 AHHHHHHHHHHHH


End file.
